[00:00:00] What else could be true? Recently we talked about fear and leveling up living our lives if as if we're playing a video game. And if you miss that episode, I highly recommend checking it out. I wanna continue our conversation about fear and how else fear plays tricks on us. Well, here's how it plays the tricks on us.
[00:00:24] It's really a big mean old liar. And yes, our brains do love to lie to us. Our brains remember things and process information by understanding the story. And when you don't have all the facts about a story, your brain is kind enough to fill in those holes with lies. And because we are fear-based animals, we fill those holes in with fear.
[00:00:46] Thoughts. Have you ever made an assumption about a situation acted in a way that you aren't proud of, and then found out what you thought was true was actually pretty far away from the truth?
[00:01:00] Yeah, we've all done it and we probably had to apologize for it too, but here's what that same behavior can look like.
[00:01:08] In our career, our supervisors canceled our last two touch bases and didn't give a reason. Since we don't know the reason, we start to fill in that miss missing information with bad thoughts, fear, thoughts. Our boss doesn't appreciate us because they're too busy. They must be mad at us for something we did.
[00:01:25] Maybe I'm gonna get fired, or maybe I'm gonna get laid off. When we start to think these thoughts, we start to respond to those thoughts as if they are true. We might become paranoid and ask everyone around us if they think we're gonna get fired. We might spend time going through past emails to figure out if we did something that would upset our leader.
[00:01:45] We might act out or act out negatively to get attention. Using our energy on these negative behaviors versus spending this energy on positive behaviors is not gonna help the situation. Oh, but then we find out that our supervisor's been working on a new top seeker project and is at the point they can bring us in on it.
[00:02:04] Oh, and they want us to lead a portion of it. What now? That's another story. And as usual, the truth is better than the lie we told ourselves. How might we have acted over the last few weeks? If we had known the truth? I bet our actions would've been a lot different and more beneficial to us and everyone around us.
[00:02:25] So when we don't know the truth, stop and ask yourself what else could be true. If you don't know the truth and you're gonna lie to yourself, at the very least, be the hero of this story. Tell yourself that you're a fantastic, amazing, awesome, and that the reason you haven't talked to your supervisor in the last two weeks is because you are all of those things.
[00:02:46] You'll be much happier. Your chemicals in your brain will provide you with energy ideas and emotional regulation, and your actions will benefit your career, not detract from it. Here's a statement someone recently shared with me. This is a story I'm telling myself I love this statement. This person is a C-suite executive.
[00:03:08] The group of executives she works within, uses this statement before jumping to conclusions. If they get a feeling they might have a disagreement or might have misunderstood a situation, they start with, this is the story I'm telling myself now that allows the other person to confirm the story or provide the correct information.
[00:03:31] Geez, wouldn't we all love to work for an e l team? The E L T team that was so mature that they could start difficult conversations with, this is the story I'm telling myself. Well, here's the good news. You can be that type of leader for yourself. Next time your imagination starts to go wild and you tell yourself all types of negative thoughts, stop and ask yourself what else could be true.
[00:03:58] Fill in those blanks with thoughts that serve you. So you are the person you want to be. Fear is just a chemical reaction, and you get to choose how you respond to it. Next time you sit down to have a conversation with someone and you have a story in your mind that you're not quite sure about, start the conversation with This is the story I'm telling myself, and then take it one step further.
[00:04:23] Give your team the permission to start conversations with you that same way. Give them the permission to say to you, this is a story I'm telling myself, and if you wanna get real crazy, give your peers the same permission. Start the trend of always asking what else could be true, and this is the story I'm telling myself within your circle of influence.
[00:04:48] Because when a team is focused on managing their own story and being comfortable enough to share that story, that team is fixing leadership.
